


Spoiler Alert

by ritazien



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-08
Updated: 2015-07-08
Packaged: 2018-04-08 06:46:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4294716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ritazien/pseuds/ritazien
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony accidentally reveals one of the biggest spoilers (slash-well-known-facts) of all time, and so begins a war with Steve.</p><p>(Total fluff.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Spoiler Alert

**Author's Note:**

> Actual spoiler warning for Star Wars, Game of Thrones, Breakfast at Tiffany’s, Shutter Island, Gone Girl, and Fight Club.
> 
> Written as a gift for the SteveTonyFest.

It started off harmless. It wasn’t intentional, Tony swears it wasn’t intentional.

“Hey, Skywalker,” he says to Steve. He breathes loudly, mimicking Darth Vader, and says, “I am your father.”

Steve watched A New Hope the night before and has been gushing about it all morning. He stares at Tony now, confused.

“Luke, I am your father,” Tony repeats, and considers. “Technically that’s a misquote.”

“Darth Vader is Luke’s father…” Steve says it slowly, processing. He remembers the weird jokes he has heard about them since he got back. Darth Vader is Luke’s father. This is a revelation.

“How the hell did you not know that?”

“I only heard of Star Wars last week,” he objects.

Tony shrugs and raises his hands. “Welcome to the Spoiler Dome.”

Steve smiles and rolls his eyes. “Bring it on, Stark.”

“You know, Luke and Leia are twins.”

“I hate you, you know that?”

Tony blows him a kiss and walks out of the room, clueless about what he has just brought upon himself.

-

A week later, he is finally catching up on Game of Thrones in the tower’s multimedia room. It’s terrible, he is so far behind, but there have been suits to build, cities to save, and obligatory meetings to sit through. This is Tony’s catch-up time. Rhodey joins him every other week, Pepper will sometimes arrive halfway through, and whenever a teammate has downtime, they appear as well. Tonight though, Rhodey is on assignment, Pepper is in a meeting, and the Avengers are doing their own thing. Bruce might come around tonight. He doesn’t mind; most of the time he prefers to be in the company of his friends, but today was quiet and he is enjoying being able to hush his thoughts with some mindless violence and focus on the wheels of political intrigue in this show. This goddamn beautiful show.

He is halfway through the second season when the door clicks open and Tony glances over at Bruce, but it’s not him. It’s Steve. Steve, barefoot and sporting a cocked eyebrow that Tony doesn’t trust for a second.

“Joining the festivities?” he asks.

“I guess I can stay a while.”

He gestures around the room. “Take a seat.”

Without hesitation, Steve sinks into the seat next to him. “Thanks.”

He feels the look come over his face, the one exclusive to Steve, the one he can’t even identify, so he smooths out his expression and lets it fall into a small smile as Steve’s hand slides over his own. His gaze remains fixed on the screen, but there is a loud beating in his ears, the rhythm of his artificial heart as it screams at him to recognise the man right there.

Steve’s fingers run up along his arm and drop off at the crook of his elbow. He turns to Steve and sees his head lowered. He leans in toward Tony, gaze straight ahead, and they don’t touch, but Tony can feel his breath on his ear.

“You know…”

Tony’s eyes drift shut.

“Everyone is slaughtered at the Frey wedding.”

He jolts away, eyes wide.

Steve’s voice raises as the scene quiets in the background, forgotten as they watch each other. “Jaime Lannister falls in love with Brienne, Joffrey dies at his wedding, Tyrion marries Sansa Stark, Cercei-”

“Shut up!” he exclaims. “Oh my god.”

“How did you not know that?” Steve asks, using his own words against him with a shit-eating smile.

“You’re a monster. You’re a  _sadist_.”

Steve laughs. “You’re a drama queen.”

“This is payback for Star Wars, right?”

He shrugs.

“I’m not talking to you,” Tony declares, and turns decisively back to the screen.

A smile tugs at the corners of Steve’s mouth. “Come on, Tony.”

“I  _knew_  Walder Frey couldn’t be trusted,” he curses. After a pause, he squints and says, “You know what this means.”

“I probably don’t want to know.”

“It means war.”

Steve groans and slides down in the chair. “Really?”

“You brought this on yourself.”

“You started it,” he points out.

“That’s Star Wars, it’s forty years old.”

“It’s thirty years older than me,” he argues.

Tony shushes him. “I’m trying to watch.”

Steve rolls his eyes and stares up at the screen, at the show he spent the last week marathoning. He has a lot of catching up to do.

-

It starts the next day. It’s not as bad as Steve expected. He is sitting at the kitchen table around mid-morning, absently chewing on cereal (a snack; he had a real breakfast hours ago) as he reads Breakfast at Tiffany’s.

Tony walks in and pours himself a cup of coffee.

“She’s actually married to this hick she ran away from.”

Steve looks up slowly. He expected this. “Oh?” His eye twitches.

“She gets arrested, too.” With that, Tony leaves, walking taller, back straighter, than when he entered.

Steve sighs and goes back to reading. He only started it this morning. What the hell does she get arrested for?

-

Steve has been doing his research. On the internet. It’s not cheating, okay? Tony has the advantage of a whole life of pop culture exposure. He  _is_  pop culture. So if Steve hears him watching Shutter Island that night, it’s only fair that he has Wikipedia to aid him.

He slips into the multimedia room, crouches behind Tony’s row, leaning his arms on the back of the chair next to him, and stares at his profile until Tony gives in and turns his head, eyebrows raised in a question.

“It’s all a delusion. He killed his wife and is actually living in the asylum on the island. The delusion is how he copes.”

“ _Fuck._ ” Tony leans his head back on the seat. He raises it slowly and stares at the screen. “That’s a twist.”

-

Tony tries to keep it under wraps, but Pepper is a goddess and decides to give Steve a heads up to the fact they have plans to go see Gone Girl the next day. Well, she’s a goddess in Steve’s eyes, but honestly she is just enjoying this game way too much to let it end. Not on her watch.

So Steve stays up all night reading the book. He’s never been much of a thriller guy, but this is probably the best plot twist he has ever read. This is the book that converts him. While Tony and Pepper are at the cinema in the afternoon, Steve is at the library (having organised the perfect spoiler reveal in the morning), scanning the shelves for the titles on his list, compiled from Goodreads recommendations. He finds  _The Girl on the Train, The Cuckoo’s Calling, And Then There Were None, The Shining_  and  _Doctor Sleep_. He checks them out happily, politely declines the librarian’s advances, and leaves for the tower, where he will read as he waits for Pepper to return with a report on Tony’s reaction to the surprise Steve left in the theater.

When he does arrive home, he settles on the love seat by the door with The Shining. He has a general idea of what it’s about, but he’s avoided spoilers to his best ability so far. He doesn’t even know if there is a twist, or if it’s just a good old suspense-building thriller. He’s about to find out. He gets comfortable and starts to read, despite his flickering concentration as his anticipation grows for Tony’s return.

-

Tony is sitting through the opening trailers, wondering why the place is empty. He’s rented out a theater on a whim plenty of times, but this is not his doing.

He turns to Pepper. “Did you buy out the theater or is this just a really bad movie?”

Pepper’s mouth twists into a half-smirk, half-smile. She is so good at those. They never fail to make Tony suspicious.

“Pepper?”

“I didn’t do a thing.”

“Then what’s going on?”

The beginning credits play and open the movie on the top of a blonde head that reminds him too much of Pepper a few years ago. She went blonde once.

_What are you thinking? What are you feeling? What have we done to each other?_

His focus is quickly drawn into the movie.

It doesn’t take long before the projector messes up. Tony frowns. Red marks appear on the screen, just as dots that draw his attention to certain characters, until they graduate to circles. They go away for a while, but when they reappear, he stands up.

“What’s wrong?” she asks casually.

“Oh I don’t know, there are crazy red marks on the screen? This isn’t part of the movie, I’m going to complain.”

“Sit down, Tony.”

“Seriously, what is going on?”

She must have done this. She would not be okay with strategically placed marks on the screen of a movie this tense. Yeah, he is noticing the placements. The red indicates things that are then revealed as evidence, or haven’t been explained yet.

“Just sit down.”

He narrows his eyes, slowly sits back down, and amps up the analytic part of his brain as the movie goes on.

During flashbacks, words flash on the screen in red. During the book release, for a second he catches AMAZING AMY over the screen.

“This is ruining Fincher’s atmosphere,” he grumbles.

During the diary flashbacks, COOL AMY flashes. Okay. What does this mean? Identity? She is split into the different parts of her life, as different people see her? Is she the victim of this? Or does she create these different versions of herself?

Too late, he realises what is going on. He could kick himself. He is sure as hell going to kick Steve when he gets home. This is an  _experience_  that Captain Perfect is  _ruining_. He crosses his arms and sits back in his seat. His brain takes in every clue, every potential spoiler, and he spins several interpretations in his head before he sets his mind on the clear path this story is leading down. This is an insanely fucking intricate way to hit him with spoilers.

He is entrenched in the movie, figuring out every motivation and turn as the red marks appear. When the credits close the film off, he remembers that he is breathing. He unlocks his muscles slowly and sits back in his chair, unsure of when he leaned forward to stare so intently at the screen.

_What have we done to each other? What will we do?_

It was good. It was good, and Tony doesn’t know if he would enjoy it half as much if it hadn’t been turned into a two-hour riddle of a ride beyond the mystery it already was.

-

Steve is a quarter of the way through the book when the sound of jangling keys echoes from the other side of the door. He keeps the book up, keeps his eyes trained on the words, and waits silently as the door opens and Tony steps through. He slams the door shut and Steve’s gaze is forced up. He stands, composed, book still in hand.

“Remember, I have superhuman strength.”

Tony’s expression contorts at that, and he looks on the edge of a sharp retort, but Steve is surprised when he closes the short distance between them and stands right in front of him. Tony is shorter than he is, but he could destroy him with the plain passion in his face as he stares him down. Steve’s heart defies the serum and races in a way that no normal exercise can manage, while a spike of adrenaline leaks through his head and chest. He can take anything Tony throws right now. He put way too much effort into this last one, and the whole thing is ridiculous at best, and either it ends now or escalates into something so silly that both of them will still be too stubborn to give up.

“The kid is psychic,” Tony says.

“I know.”

“Can I kiss you?” he demands, a question that should be quiet and everything Steve wants to hear, but instead is abrasive and Tony is looking at him without expectation, and it is everything Steve wants to hear.

Steve presses his lips against his. His hand is on Tony’s neck and there are hands clinging to his shirt and Tony is kissing back with something fierce as their lips part.

Tony pulls away and grins. “I’ve never enjoyed a movie so much.”

“I’m going to watch Fight Club later,” Steve mutters, forehead resting on Tony’s shoulder.

“The two main guys are the same person.” Tony’s hand is on his shoulder.

Steve raises his head, smiles, and presses a lighter kiss on Tony’s mouth. Tony pulls him in for more, and as far as they both can tell, this is the white flag.


End file.
